Dr. Carl Nassar has a deep sense of empathy and, thankfully, he found a place in this worldwhere that empathy can help those he serves.
Carl’s parents fled war-torn countries as children, and they wanted a better life for Carl. Theywere certain a career in engineering or medicine would assure him a life rich in security.
Carl loved his parents and wanted to please them so he studied his heart out in school, wonawards and scholarships, and earned his PhD in Electrical Engineering from McGill Universityat the age of 27.
In spite of his achievements, he was not satisfied in the engineering world. After working at alarge engineering firm and then starting his own small business, Carl became a tenured professorat Colorado State University where he was the recipient of numerous teaching and researchawards. But none of this silenced his misgivings about his career choice and he began to pondera very different future as a writer, researcher, and therapist.
“I think I have this sort of faith in life that it's unfolding in the ways that it's intended to,” hesays. “I just try to walk that balance between being open to receiving all the different things thatare falling into my life while at the same time wanting to shape it in the ways that are true towhat my heart tells me is next. I believe being malleable and open to change is the only way tofind our calling and purpose.”
After 25 years as a professional counselor/international clinical trainer and supervisor, Carl isworking on a new book, Born for a Better World. It will be published in early 2025. He ismarried to Gretchen and they have a daughter, Kaila. They live in Colorado.
Rebuilding Our Lost Connections in a World Filled with Loneliness
We arrive into this world ready for the very best life has to offer us: a deep connection with themany people around us; people who love us for who we are; people who will come to our aid at amoment’s notice; people who care deeply for us and our well-being. We are born anticipating thewelcoming village our ancestors enjoyed for over 200,000 years on this planet.
But we find — at this oddest of moments in human history — that we are born instead into amarket culture characterized by individual consumption and production. We are left to fend forourselves in a culture that reveres the lone wolf who finds their own way rather than belonging tothe pack.
The promise of the warm village life is broken.
Author Carl Nassar, in his thoughtful Born for a Better World, points out the ironies of themoment we are living in. We are more connected than ever — we can communicate withanyone, anywhere on the globe in a millisecond — yet we are more alone than ever, feelingunheard and unseen. We have more material goods than we will ever use in this lifetime and yetthe constant drumbeat of our consumer culture tells us it isn’t enough.
Rather than knowing our worth through the loving gazes of the people around us, we’re told toprove our worth by making it on our own. Rather than experience security in each other’s arms,we’re told to create our own security by building individual wealth. We end up busily workingand living apart from one another, creating the much documented and studied epidemic ofloneliness. And sadly, we are too exhausted from our individuated lives to do much about it.
The good news, according to Dr. Nassar, is we can each make changes in our lives to fix it, to re-capture the sense of belonging that has been lost. It’s well past time to acknowledge and honorour inherent relational needs and to build lives of being not just around each other, but genuinelytogether.
It’s time we learn to live convergent lives, not divergent ones. And when we do, we are sure tofind a better world.
